


And I Bleed Cold

by cloverfield



Category: Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Gen, Hurt No Comfort, Infinity Arc, M/M, Non-Consensual Vampirism, Resentment, Starvation, Traditional Vampirism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:48:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22212061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloverfield/pseuds/cloverfield
Summary: He could hunt anyone in this city. He could take from them the life he needs to keep living, to keep breathing, to keep this bitter machine of a body moving. He will not, and he is dying by inches.
Relationships: Fay D. Fluorite/Kurogane
Kudos: 23





	And I Bleed Cold

**Author's Note:**

> "Vampire Fai is more like Carmilla or Lestat, able to drink from anyone but vulnerable to sun and such. Bonus points if you can keep the same tension created when Fai needed Kuro's blood."

It has been three months since he last saw the sun, and without it he is cold, cold, frozen right down to his old and creaking bones.

_“Will you be going out tonight, Fai-san?”  
_

_“Not tonight, I don’t think. I’m very tired, princess.”_

It’s not a lie, though the tiredness is not what makes his head light and his throat hot, a dry crackling ache that wants for easement; it is the _thirst_ , and it is the thirst that will continue to want for as long as he can bear it.

(He could hunt anyone in this city. He could take from them the life he needs to keep living, to keep breathing, to keep this bitter machine of a body moving. He will not, and he is dying by inches.)

His princess knows, and his princess does not approve. She says nothing, though, and lets him keep his pain to himself. She could hardly do less, when between the two of them they have not even a whole heart to share.

_“Fai-san?”  
_

_“…yes, Syaoran-kun?”  
_

_“You don’t look well. Please, remember to look after yourself. We’re all very worried.”_

_“The same could be said for you. Do take care.”  
_

He doesn’t mean to be cruel to the boy, but it can hardly be helped, not when each worried glance from warm brown eyes makes him start ( _blue, blue, cold and cruel and burning as only his own eyes can be, and his blood on that face as the boy leans in again–_) and he is so weak besides.

So “Syaoran” keeps his distance. And Fai is grateful for it.

_“Fai isn’t sleeping. Fai is very, very sad. Mokona wants, Mokona wants Fai to be happy.”  
_

_“Mokona-chan, you are very kind. And I am not… I am not good company right now. Go and see Sakura-chan. I think of all of us, she needs you the most.”_

There are always casualties, in any war, and the first are always the innocent. But the nights are long and the days longer, sunlight bleeding through the gaps in the blinds in burning lines he cannot bear to let touch his skin, and it is though everything that once was kind in him has gone to ashes.

“You can’t starve yourself forever.”

“Perhaps. We shall have to see.”

“You _know_ you can’t! You need to go out there and–”

“And what would you have me do, Kurogane? Become the killing creature you have made of me? If I would take any life, it would be my own and you have taken from me even the chance to do that.”

The words ring sharp in the empty room, with only a chair and an unmade bed and blank white walls; he does not need to sleep, not now, not ever again, and so what use are starched sheets and a soft blanket to a man who is as much alive as he is dead?

“Your life is more than just your own, and you know it.”

The blow cuts deeper than it has right to, deeper than this bloody-minded _child_ could ever know.

_~~Fai~~ _

“Do tell.” It’s not ice in his veins, but it is just as cold, and the snarl on his lips hisses through his teeth.

“Your life hasn’t been _yours_ the moment you tried to save the princess, the moment you looked at those kids and saw in them someone you wanted to protect. The minute that happened, _you stopped living for yourself_. And if you think you can just die now, you’ll waste everything you’ve done for them.”

The pain in those eyes is startling. “Kurogane–”

“You think they’ll recover from that? You think they’ll just let you sit here and starve because you’re too fucking proud to admit you need help? I knew you were a liar and I knew you were a fool but this is something else!”

“I won’t.” The words stick on his tongue, catch like barbs between his teeth. “I won’t take another’s life for my own.”

( _liar liar liaryou’ve done it before you’ve already done it once what’s another what’s another corpse to add to the mountain at your feet_)

“No one has to die, you selfish bastard; all you have to do is _live!_ ”

“And at what cost? Whose blood would you have me spill?” The chair clatters where it falls, even through the thick carpet. “Are you _volunteering_ , Kurogane?”

“You wouldn’t drink it even if I offered,” and if it’s bitter, it still rings true.

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like if Fai had been the more dracula-esque vamp, he still would have starved himself- probably more likely, actually, since he'd be even less likely to feed from Kurogane in the first place.


End file.
